Chapter 331 South Park (V)

Five minutes ago, Stan was at home.

Stan's mother, Sharon, was on the phone with an anxious look on her face: "Please, I don't even know who to go to. The police can't help at all. I think the children are really in big trouble this time. "

The person on the other side of the phone also said something.

Sharon replied: "Yes...yes...ok, please call me after confirming, thank you." After she finished speaking, she hung up.

After putting down the phone, her face was still full of worry. Sharon is also a relatively normal character in South Park, so when her son disappeared, her reaction was the same as that of most parents.

But...there's someone else in this room who's not quite normal. That's Stan's father, Randy, South Park's greatest villain...

Randy's image is usually dressed in a blue shirt, with black hair parted in the middle, and a mustache on his mouth, which is slightly wider than the head of state.

This guy's profession is a geologist, but it's rare to see him working seriously. Most of the time, he's just brushing the bottom line here and there.

% At this moment, when his wife was feeling exhausted mentally and physically about her son’s disappearance, Randy was holding a portable video camera and taking pictures around the house.

In the story of these two episodes of "South Park", Randy bought a new camera, so he took it here and there all day long. The filming content was extremely boring and repetitive...including the family eating, bathing, watching TV, going to the toilet, etc., and he narrated it with his own narration while filming.

"Randy! I swear to God, if you don't put that thing down..." Sharon roared at him angrily. She had had enough of her husband's nonsense in the past few days.

But Randy responded with the same sentence he has used repeatedly these days: "Sharon, one day you will be happy because I recorded so many family anecdotes."

"I'm not kidding you, Randy, enough is enough!" Sharon yelled: "Why do you need to record every minute and every second..."

Suddenly, a dull roar sounded outside the house...

Sharon's words were interrupted, and her expression became confused.

"What the hell is that?" Randy also asked.

But he didn't stop filming. Instead, it entered the rhythm of "Cloverfield" (also known as "Cloverfield", the film was shot in a different way, from the perspective of the characters holding a portable video camera).

"Oh, my God." Sharon said with some fear after feeling the earthquake-like footsteps.

"It seems like something happened outside..." Randy said, "Stay inside the house and don't move." As he said that, he ran out of the house with the camera in hand.

When he ran towards the door, Stan's violent sister Shelly happened to come down from the second floor. She stood on the stairs and said, "What happened? Dad."

"Go back to your room! Shelly!" randy replied in a commanding tone.

Then, Randy rushed outside the house. As soon as he opened the door, he saw people screaming and running away. There was also the sound of helicopter rotors in the sky. He looked up. I actually saw two Chinooks (the twin-rotor transport helicopters commonly seen in movies) hovering in the sky.

Randy saw a familiar face in the crowd, it was Stan's class teacher Mr. Garrison (a bitch second only to Randy), with a bald head, glasses, and a green suit. This person had undergone two sex reassignment surgeries. He has been a straight man, a gay, a straight woman and a lesbian; every time he changes his sexual orientation, he will participate in the group's rallies and demonstrations, and when his own interests are involved, he will immediately change his position and become rampant Attacking and insulting other groups can be said to be a classic case of "the butt determines the head"). Randy went up to him and asked, "What happened?"

Garrison replied in panic: "They're everywhere!"

"What? What does 'them' mean?" randy asked.

"The furry thing..." Garrison shouted: "It's really... super furry!" After shouting, he shook off Randy's arm and escaped in the direction of the crowd.

"ah--"

A scream caught Randy's attention. He turned his head and saw a man wearing a yellow T-shirt and jeans flying from a very far distance. It fell in front of him with a snap.

The man's body was severely distorted after the fall. His left leg was bent forward as if he had been on a tiger's bench, and his arms were folded behind his back. The ribs on the left side of his torso were exposed, and the bones of his right wrist were also poked out. .

Almost at the moment of landing. The man died, his mouth and nose were bleeding, and he died with his eyes closed.

"Who did this [beep——]!" randy screamed and cursed.

Woo——

There was a low groan.

Randy looked up and looked behind the fleeing crowd. He saw...a giant guinea pig.

"What is this..." Randy was shocked.

"Mr. Marsh, you have to leave quickly! It's not safe here!" Someone grabbed Randy's shoulder and shouted at him.

The person who spoke was Barbrady, a small town police officer (wearing sunglasses, slightly fat, was found to be illiterate in one season and was suspended, but later reinstated for some reason). He was also responsible, and he also knew how to remind others to hurry up. Withdraw.

Randy heard this and hurried to the other end of the street, but saw a car flying out from the corner. The car rolled on the ground for several weeks and caught fire and exploded. Following closely, another large guinea pig appeared.

"Oh! God! God!" Randy saw the giant monster in front of him, but did not run away immediately. Instead, he stopped and pointed the portable camera at his face, panting and said: "Haa... Haa... I... I... Haa... I'm shocked!"

Just when this guy was being stupid, suddenly... a speeding car rushed out from the side and rear of the guinea pig and slammed into the monster.

After the collision, a man in a dark blue ski jacket flew out from the driver's seat of the car. Even in such a violent car accident, he still did not forget to hold on to a backpack and a submachine gun.

And only five seconds later, this man escaped from the giant monster with extremely agile movements.

At this moment, three f-15s flew over the air, and several missiles with white smoke trails whizzed in.

All the missiles hit the guinea pig, but the blast wave affected a range of dozens of meters. Randy was far away. He was just knocked to the ground. But Feng Bujue was not so lucky. He was blown away, drew a parabola in the air, and fell on a scrapped car on the side of the road.

This car was probably thrown or trampled by the giant monster, and the shell had long been deformed. When Feng Bujue fell, his waist was cut by a piece of metal edge that came out of nowhere, and the wound was a finger long and bleeding.

In a situation like this where the whole person fell, the protective gear was useless. It was the coat he stole from the gun store that alleviated some of the damage.

"Damn it..." Feng Bujue cursed. He climbed out of the car.

His face was also scratched by broken glass, and a bloody wound was opened horizontally on his left cheek, but this wound was considered shallow, and did not cause too much loss of survival value, nor did it cause continuous bleeding damage.

Woo——

The smoke and dust raised by the missile explosion had not yet completely dissipated, and the giant guinea pig's cry had sounded again.

According to Feng Bujue's memory, these monsters were very powerful, and conventional combat weapons were basically useless. Tanks would be overturned if they drove over. Bullets, shells, missiles... none of them could hurt them. They could only play a little suppressive role.

As a flesh-and-blood person, getting close to these guinea pigs was almost like seeking death. With such a huge size difference, if a human approached, no matter if he was scratched, bitten, stepped on, or scratched, he would definitely die...

"It's just around the corner... How can we be stopped here?" Feng Bujue said viciously. He put his backpack on his shoulders, held the wound with one hand, and held the gun with the other. When the [Spiritual Consciousness Gathering Technique] was instantly opened, his feet suddenly stepped.

The next second, there was a sound of concrete being torn. The road surface under Feng Bujue's feet burst into a spider web-like crack with a radius of five meters. And the person in the middle of this web had risen up like a bullet and jumped into the sky.

With a 360-foot straight-body move in the air, Feng Bujue successfully climbed onto the rooftop of a four-story building.

Since the street was blocked, he flew over the eaves and walked through the wall.

Unexpectedly, just as Brother Jue crossed the rooftop diagonally, he saw Randy on the street in front of him. This idiot was still standing there playing his first-person selfie skit as the giant monster approached.

"Fuck... this guy..." Feng Bujue naturally recognized Randy, and the cursor on the radar also showed that this was one of his side quest targets.

So there was no choice but to save...

"Run quickly! You [beep——]" Feng Bujue jumped onto the street and fired two grenades at the guinea pig with the m733 mando in mid-air.

At the moment when the grenade hit the monster but had not exploded, Feng Bujue just landed. He didn't even have time to buffer the impact of the fall, and kept standing, and immediately rushed forward.

Randy, with a face full of horror, saw a figure falling from the sky like a superhero and rushing towards him.

This person was covered in blood, had a ferocious look, and did not look back at the explosion scene. It seemed that this was a real man...

"Ah——" Feng Bujue roared inexplicably, and this roar contained too many complex emotions, of course, mainly anger and dissatisfaction.

With a single arm, Jue Ge lifted Randy up. He didn't even care about the wound. He gritted his teeth, carried a middle-aged man on one shoulder, ran forward like a fly, and asked loudly: "Where is your home?"

"What...what?" Randy was still in shock and asked woodenly.

"Your home! Where is it!" Feng Bujue repeated word by word.

"In... right over there..." Randy pointed to a house a few dozen meters away. Two seconds later, he picked up the camera and pointed it at himself: "Oh... God, a superhero came to save me." He raised his head slightly and said to Feng Bujue: "Hey, man, what's your hero's name?"

"[Beep——]" This was Feng Bujue's response.

And Randy actually believed it. He looked at the camera and said: "His name is [Beep——], oh! A real superhero, how cool is that!"

If it weren't for the mission, Feng Bujue would have shot this guy long ago, but he had to endure it at this moment.

Less than half a minute. Feng Bujue rushed to the door of Stan's house. The door of the house was not closed, so Feng Bujue threw Randy in with a wave of his hand, and he followed closely into the house.

As he closed the door, Brother Jue collapsed on the ground.

Within a few minutes, this series of actions had significantly reduced his survival value, now reaching a dangerous value of 13%.

As soon as Feng Bujue entered the room, he took out disinfectant, bandages, and suture needles and threads from his backpack, preparing to treat the wounds on his waist.

As a very efficient person. He was not idle, and took advantage of this time to communicate with the three NPCs in front of him, "Don't be afraid, I'm here to help you."

Both Sharon and Shelly looked scared and at a loss. Only Randy held the camera intently, pointed it at Feng Bujue, and explained: "Look, the superhero is stitching up his wounds in my living room."

Although Feng Bujue wanted to beat Randy up, he still held back. Because he knew that there was no tape in the camera in Randy's hand... and Brother Jue wasn't going to remind him, so he just let this guy take the picture.

…………

at the same time. Central America, Costa Rican airspace.

In the night sky, a C130 transport plane with the American flag and the Department of Defense logo printed on its fuselage was flying south.

Five primary school students were sitting in a row in the cabin, and no one spoke. The atmosphere seemed quite strange.

Suddenly, the door to the cockpit was opened, and the co-pilot walked in and said to the children: "Okay. We are still 800 kilometers away from Peru. After landing, a truck will take you into the country. They will give you a brief introduction then." Mission description." After saying this, he returned to the cockpit and closed the door.

A few seconds later, Craig said expressionlessly: "When you came up with that genius idea of ​​pretending to be a Peruvian panpipe band to make money, was there a brief moment when you guys would say the last sentence? 'Hey, you know, this plan might go awry.'" He paused for two seconds, then added himself: "No, you don't think so, because you are all assholes and will never learn your lesson, so the whole school. Your classmates despise you.”

Kyle replied: "No! All the kids in school like us." He looked at Stan and said, "Is that so?"

Stan continued affirmatively: "Of course, the kids at school love us so much." He turned to Craig and said: "It's just that because we are in a bad situation now, Craig dragged us."

Craig still complained calmly: "I dragged you...you took away the money from my birthday red envelope (the money for the children to form a Peruvian panpipe band was obtained from Craig), causing me to be arrested and sent to Miami. Now we can’t go home without taking the blame for the country of Peru... So, it’s me?”

Cartman pointed at Craig and said to the other friends: "I have absolutely nothing to say about this kid."

Craig ignored him and continued: "Do you know why no one in school likes to play with you four?" He paused habitually, "Because you are always doing this kind of thing... you always come up with some bad ideas. , the result is often the opposite, and then you are sent out of the country, or thrown into outer space or something." He concluded: "That's why... no one wants to play with you."

Cartman replied nonchalantly: "You are too pessimistic, Craig. The boat will straighten out when it reaches the bridge."

…………

Meanwhile, the U.S. Department of Defense, Conference Hall.

At this time, the conference hall was empty. There was only one person standing silently at the front of the podium. He was the balding officer, and he was also the Minister of Homeland Security.

Directly in front of him is a world map. At this moment, he was looking at the picture with his hands behind his back. There was still a proud smile on the corner of his mouth.

"Sir, we are in bigger trouble." The black officer wearing a general's uniform came in from the door holding a document and said anxiously.

"Oh?" The tone of the Minister of National Security seemed very relaxed: "What other questions are there?"

"Reports of major disasters have been sent from all over the world, and the culprit causing huge casualties and losses seems to be..." The black officer hesitated.

Before he could finish his words, the Minister of National Security turned around and sneered: "Guinea pig?"

The black officer was stunned when he heard this, "Uh... yes, sir. How did you know?"

"You are so close to the truth, Davis." The Minister of National Security smiled, "Haha... I almost saw it."

"Eh? Sir?" Davis really didn't understand what sir meant.

"I thought you knew the truth in Miami...but you just couldn't see through the clues." The Minister of National Security added.

"You...you knew this would happen?" Davis stammered.

"Oh~ this is just the beginning, Davis." The Minister of National Security raised his hand and waved with one finger, "And I... will never let you do anything bad."

Before he finished speaking, the Minister of National Security suddenly opened his mouth and shot out his tongue like a javelin. In one second, it stretched to a length of four to five meters. The tip of his tongue penetrated into Davis's eye socket, passed through his eyeball, and entered his brain.

Davis had no time to react. After a few seconds of trembling, his brain was completely crushed and his body fell to the ground powerlessly, turning into a stiff corpse.

The Minister of National Security retracted his tongue and said to the corpse in front of him very calmly: "I'm sorry, my friend. I have worked hard and endured a lot of hardships to wait for this day." He paused, "The pan flute band is heading for extinction, and the era of our guinea pigs has arrived." He leaned over and picked up the folder in Davis' hand, "And the only person who can stop this has been sent to an unknown place..."

At this time, the first page of the file was a photo, and the person in the photo was actually Craig... (To be continued...)