Chapter 356

"I told her countless times that the family will be very comfortable after breaking up and leaving, and I feel very comfortable, so it's useless." The daughter seems to have given up on admonishing her mother.

She told Ning Youguang, "I also tried to go home for a few days before, and I also supervised her to manage the pile of garbage at home and helped her sort out the things to throw away, but when I was around, she pretended to be Throw it away, and stuff it into the corners of the house and the bicycle room after I leave, I really collapsed."

The mother bowed her head and bent her back. It seemed that what her daughter said was true.

Ning Youguang did not continue to expand on the items of the mother and daughter's home, but asked her mother, "How is your relationship with your husband?"

As soon as she asked this, the mother who lowered her head froze.

The daughter also changed face.

A poorly organized house must lie behind a poorly handled family relationship.

The status quo of the poorly organized house can reflect the problem of poorly handled family relations intact.

Seeing the instant change of mother and daughter's expressions, Ning Youguang knew that she could continue to ask questions.

"Analysed from a psychological point of view, the unorganized and disordered living space and the disorganized items are the accumulation of the family's anger, and the lifeless living space and the piles of items are the accumulation of the family's death."

After Ning Youguang finished speaking, he looked at his mother who was still bowing his head, "May I ask if your husband interacts less with you?"

Mom didn't speak, but her thin shoulders began to shrug.

Obviously, her mood changed a lot, and she listened to everything she said.

The expression on the daughter's face changed from anger to irritability.

She said, "My father and my mother basically don't speak at home. They have lived apart for many years."

The daughter's words fell, and her mother's mournful cry overflowed from her mouth. She leaned back on the chair with her eyes closed, and muddy tears flowed from her eyes.

Seeing her sad look, the daughter also bit her lips tightly, her eyes showing pain.

Ning Youguang quietly waited for his mother to release his emotions.

After a long while, she finished crying, and then looked at her daughter with pain and despair on her face and said, "I can give up everything at home, but can I give up and leave your father?"

The crazy anger and despair in the mother's eyes shocked the daughter.

She stammered, "Let's leave...my dad? Do you want to divorce my dad? I've never heard you quarreling. Aren't you always cold? "

[It’s always been like this that’s a big problem. ]

Ning Youguang couldn't help sighing.

"That's because I'm hopeless!" Mother shouted hoarsely.

The daughter was frightened.

Ning Youguang took out a tissue and put it in his mother's hand gently, "Can you tell me about how you and your husband get along?"

Mother wiped the tears from her face, but the tears seemed to be endless and kept flowing.

She cried and said to Ning Youguang, "Since I gave birth and became a full-time wife at home, the child's father doesn't care about everything in the house. In the morning, the books and newspapers he read and the tableware are left intact after breakfast." He put it on the dining table and left. When he came home from work in the evening, he asked me to put the dishes and rice in front of him. Even if he came back late and ate alone, the rice bowl would not be placed smoothly. In the sink, I have to prepare everything for clothes and shoes. Sometimes I scold people when I can’t find something. If the food doesn’t suit my taste, they criticize me for not cooking well. Especially in the morning, I lose my temper at every turn. I'm like his servant, I told him that I hope he can help to understand, sometimes a person's things are collected a little bit, but he never changes, and said these are trivial things, let me not bother him, Sometimes I nag a few words, and he will scold back, except for quarreling, nothing has changed, I don’t want to talk about him in the future, he can do whatever he wants, as long as he doesn’t scold others.”

The mother said that as long as the husband does not scold others, it is fine, but from the situation of their family described by the daughter, as a wife, she actually has a lot of dissatisfaction with her husband.

Whether it's the nagging in the past or the forbearance now, the problems between the couple have not been resolved.

The wife just had no choice but to give up looking for a solution to the problem, but at the same time, the relationship between them turned into anger and resignation.

"Does your lover know that these actions of his will have a great impact on your husband and wife relationship?"

"Why would he think about this?" His wife said with a wry smile, "He only knows that he is under a lot of pressure at work, and he just wants me not to bother him, but what about me? Am I not tired every day at home, am I not working hard? Is there anyone who can understand me?"

"How long have you been in this mode?" Ning Youguang asked again.

"It started when Bao went to elementary school." The mother said with a sad face. "In the beginning, I also felt that things at home were very annoying. What bothered me most was the attitude of the child's father. But is it any good to be angry?"

After nagging her husband to escalate the conflict between husband and wife, she turned these dissatisfaction into anger, and the way to resolve the anger is to buy things.

Buy useless items and clutter their packaging into hills at home.

She has given up all these years, and she also feels that no matter what she says or does, it is useless.

I didn't think it would be useful to change the status quo, so I didn't bother to move.

As a result, the items in the home were left alone and piled up there all the time.

"Do you think it's useless to do anything, so you don't want to move?" Ning Youguang could clearly see his mother's thoughts.

"Yes." The mother glanced at her silent daughter and said expressionlessly.

Ning Youguang looked gently at the lifeless mother who had been tortured by life and said, "The object of our separation does not only refer to the objects around us, but also shows that everyone has a positive attitude toward life. The attitude of subtraction, which is also similar to the action philosophy of cutting off desires and staying away from obsessions advocated by yogis."

She said, "This kind of subtractive thinking can be applied not only to dealing with old things and clutter, but also to human relationships. Therefore, when we honestly face the relationship between ourselves and objects, we understand which things we need and which things we need. It is not necessary, and after making a choice, the second step is to resolutely break the link with those who make us unhappy, and at the same time focus on the most important thing in life, but the most important thing is to make changes Breaking away is more like a self-examination, eliminating those accumulated, outdated cognitions and information, making yourself better, more transparent, and letting yourself live freely." 1314