Chapter 2248: Late Autumn in Jincheng (31)

The shocked expression on Loki's face lasted less than a second, and she turned her head away.

"I'm not here for psychotherapy."

"I respect any orientation."

Loki opened her mouth and paused for two seconds, then looked at Schiller and said, "Why do you say that?"

"Because of your gender fluidity, so..."

"Not that." Loki interrupted Schiller and said, "Why do you think I'm..."

"That's a long story."

"Let's make it short."

"But you're not here for psychotherapy."

Loki choked, and she couldn't help complaining, "Why are you so different from the doctor?"

"Because I'm not a psychiatrist." Schiller changed one leg and put it on the other leg and said, "Do you think that the detailed questioning, careful observation, scientific analysis and careful judgment conducted by your good doctor are because such processes are necessary?"

"Isn't it?"

"Because he charges by the hour , we don't need this. "

Loki puffed up her cheeks and said, "Then you should tell me the reason, and I will pay you for the consultation."

"But I am not a psychiatrist, and I don't need anyone to pay for my judgment." Schiller leaned to one side, resting his elbow on the armrest of the armchair, fingertips on his temples, tilted his head to look at Loki and said, "Instead, you have to be prepared to accept my judgment-usually there is nothing good, and it is not what you want to hear."

"Then why do you say it?"

"Because people feel that they have the ability to bear the truth before they know the answer, and curiosity will definitely push you into a dead end, but if I stand at the end waiting for you, you think I am too sharp. "

Loki had nothing to say. She found that she always had nothing to say in front of this Schiller. Not long after they parted, she began to miss her good doctor.

Dr. Schiller's fees are indeed very high, and he also needs others to provide him with additional emotional value, and sometimes even have to turn himself into fun for him to have fun.

But it must be admitted that the consultation and treatment he provided were refreshing, and his views on certain things were enlightening, but not difficult to accept, because he had already explained the truth before the truth was announced.

But it seems that Professor Schiller has no such patience. He is better at hitting the nail on the head. He is too sharp. No one can gain a language advantage in front of him. He is focused and sharp, like a real weird genius.

Loki met Schiller's eyes. She felt that she had been seen through by his slightly neurotic eyes, but she had to admit that Schiller was right. His performance made people more curious about the answer he could give.

Loki let out a long breath, leaned against the bedpost, held the round top of the bedpost with her hand, pressed her chin on the back of her hand, and stared at Schiller sitting on the sofa in the corner.

"So, what do you think of me?"

"People always say that your upbringing shaped you. Odin's injustice, Thor's roughness, and Frigga's excessive attention led you to become Loki, and all the Lokis in the universe became Loki."

"But people's views actually make you very annoyed. You always think that you shaped yourself."

"Your greed never comes from past lack, and your perfectionism is not because of insecurity. You think you should have something because you think you deserve it, not because you didn't have it before and you must have it now."

"So Paying too much attention to your past is an insult to you. They see you as a floating duckweed in the storm. They seem to be sympathetic, but in fact they think you have nothing to anchor yourself. This view drives you crazy. "

"As for your feelings, Odin sees you as his youngest son, Frigga sees you as the wronged little prince, Laufey sees you as a tool to turn against Odin, and the Asgardians see you as an ordinary second prince. "

"Only Thor sees you as more than his brother, he sees you as Loki. "

"He has a clearer understanding of your self than others, and he sees the social Thor doesn't care much about learning attributes. Even when he complains to Odin, he never says how my brother is or how your son is. He only says that Loki did this again or that again. "

"Rather than looking back at the past, Thor spends 99% of his time looking forward. Many people regard this as forgetfulness and being too reckless, but because of this, he knows you as you are now, not the collection of past experiences."

"In front of him, you can't feel the emotional impact of past experiences on your current relationship. When you are together, you can focus on the present and imagine the future without distraction. This is something that even Odin can't do. . "

"This makes you deeply fascinated, attracted to him, and want to occupy his time, because every minute and every second you spend with him, you feel that you are yourself more deeply than at other times. "

"Perhaps you don't realize that the firm self you think is actually not as solid as you think. The old shadows of the past make you painful, but you always avoid them. "

"Showing your sense of self to others is more like a temporary analgesic, but with Thor, you feel that the wind and waves have calmed down, and his recognition of your independence at this moment is like an anchor sinking into the deep sea. Because of his existence, you don't need to show yourself, you can be yourself. "

"This not only makes you pursue, but also makes you addicted, but if it is obvious that the time you spend with him will be less and less, you will be more eager to find another anchor - you are crazy to choose an anchor. "But you want to avoid him as much as possible." "Because you know, what Thor does is just natural. He does this to everyone. He doesn't realize his special significance to you, and you don't want him to." Realize, so when things are okay, you choose to maintain the status quo, do nothing, or even retreat and give up actively.”

"As for why you don't want him to realize... there is still a subtle sense of victory between you. Although you have respected him as a king and acknowledged the status gap between you, feelings have always been two different things."

"You hope you can hold more ropes in your hands and avoid giving your rope to anyone, you..."

Schiller paused, frowned slightly, as if he was sniffing something, and then began to explore in a deeper direction.

"You don't want Thor to feel at ease, from beginning to end. You want him to always be worried about you. You think you can't let him feel that 'Loki is doing well, he has nothing to ask for, and things can just keep going like this.' ”

"But you are not entirely seeking his attention or drawing his attention. You seem to be seeking a kind of emotional... fairness."

"He anchors you, and you think of it as a power, so his obligation is to be bothered by your presence, like, 'There's a price to pay for doing this to me.'"

"Because he actually doesn't know what he can do to you, and you've hidden it well so far. In this way, you won twice. You held one of Thor's ropes in your hand, and you didn't lose your own. Give it to him and put him in an emotionally dominant position.”

"In your relationship, you are so competitive...it's just by nature."

"Yes, you are a person who weighs his position of existence by possessing and being possessed - the more you possess, the clearer your self is, and the more you are possessed, the clearer your superego is."

"When you own something, you can actively use your consciousness to make judgments that release your natural freedom. When you are owned by certain people in certain identities, you will be trapped by conscience and morality, so you are not completely good. Not entirely bad.”

"You want to possess Thor and be possessed by him, you want to be able to release your free nature in front of him, and you want both of you to be bound by your loved ones. In the sociological sense, you must be responsible for your loved ones. rules.”

Schiller's fingers tapped regularly on the armrests of the sofa, obviously deep in thought. His amazing talent was operating at full capacity, and the air in the room was filled with the echoes of his thoughts.

"The current situation is that Thor has entered a new stage of life step by step. He has been crowned, married and had children. New stages of life always have opportunities and challenges. But whether it is an opportunity or a challenge, you are obviously not his. Main theme."

"You and Thor have almost no chance to be alone. The days when you were inseparable as a boy are getting further and further away from you two. Your need to possess him cannot be satisfied."

"Thor has more and closer family members. He has a wife, and is about to have a child. Even if he values ​​you as much as before, he has many more people who are bound by the rule of being responsible for his relatives out of thin air. , and you are still pretty much alone with him, and your need to be possessed is unmet.”

"Empty, entangled, pulled, torn... You think the relationship between you is becoming more and more unequal. You think the way to restore the unbalanced balance is to re-satisfy your need to possess and be possessed. ”

"You need to regain Thor's energy so that he has more moral restraints on you and takes more responsibility to possess you."

"You'd think you could do both by...finding another Thor."

"This is extremely bold and risky, both for you and Thor, because you know that when things get to this point, you have to give up the rope. This is your leverage - to make Thor realize that you need him Not just because of brotherhood, but for a deeper reason.”

"Maybe you still don't want him to realize the truth, maybe you don't think he's capable of understanding, but you want to disguise this as love through another Thor."

"This will give your brother a big shock. Hold the rope in your hand tightly and pull him toward you, so maybe you can regain your balance."

"So the appearance of the super troublemaker you talk about is not an accident, it is part of your plan."

"You need a Thor, but not quite Thor, because if he was exactly like your brother, you're not sure you would be able to control yourself."

"But what fascinates you about Thor will be reflected in most Thors, so you must find a special one so that you can use him without distraction, instead of digging a trap and falling into it yourself."

"But that's not enough. When the actors are in place, you need a stage. My banquet is the best occasion. You will find a way to make the second Zu Thor chase you and let your brother hear something."

"He will definitely come over and ask me. In addition to apologizing to me for your behavior, he will definitely feel that as your psychiatrist, I noticed all this in advance. He will want to know when this started and what happened. To what extent will he even consult me ​​about his relationship with you?"

"Then it is obvious that your good doctor will not peel off your skin so sharply and straightforwardly. He will only give the answer I gave you before - yes, your brother's feelings for you far exceed brotherhood. ”

Schiller said with a sigh.

"The vast majority of people regard love as the most noble emotion in the world. They believe that the end point of all relationships should be love, so once transcendence is mentioned, they mistakenly think that the sublimated emotion is love."

"But the human emotional system is much more complex than this. What's fascinating is that after every emotion reaches its extreme, there is no end in sight."

"But the vast majority of people are not capable or willing to understand this, and only superficially regard them as love."

"How perfunctory, superficial, and full of their usual evasive spirit is one of the strong evidences that they are good at making excuses for their brains not turning around..."

"That's enough."